Thursday, July 14, 2016

Rancho Cucamonga Prepares For 2017 Outsider Poetry Slam Season By Signing Dr. Who Actor Tom Baker

Rancho Cucamonga is not resting on its laurels after winning the 2016 Outsider Poetry Slam League of America Championship. General Manager Lloyd Bridges has been busy at the winter meetings reloading the roster with talented and diverse poets from all over America. Several signings have already been announced, and Rancho Cucamonga appears to be a juggernaut primed to roll over the competition in the 2017 season.


Perhaps the biggest news is that former Dr. Who and Vault of Horror star Tom Baker will be joining the Kookamungas for the 2017 season. Known best perhaps as the Fourth incarnation of Dr. Who, Baker has been quietly living in Rancho Cucamonga for two decades with his wife Sue and their two dingo dogs. He attended a bout against the Rockford Pages last month, and was said to have been so mesmerized he contacted Kookamungas GM Bridges about joining the team. Baker will be competing in home events only as he does not like to travel. 

Rumors that other celebrities will be joining the team are circulating, but are yet to be confirmed. What is known is that the team has been working hard to add talented young poets for the travel team.


Like Outsider Poet Thomas "Skark Puncher" Vaultonburg, who is in training for the upcoming season by punching sharks in the face. 

Will Dame Helen Mirren join the Kookamungas in 2017? Who knows, but it is safe to say the Kookamungas will have more surprises in store during the offseason.