The Dude Makes a Special Appearance For the Rancho Cucamonga Kookamunga Poetry Slam Team Saturday Night

The Rancho Cucamonga Kookamungas were being soundly drubbed by the Rockford Page's at our Outsider Poetry Slam League of America match Saturday night in Rockford when The Dude made a surprise appearance and completely swung the momentum of the match in favor of the Kookamungas when he read this poem, The Dude's Prayer, by Outsider Poet Thomas L. Vaultonburg. 

The Dude's Prayer

never inflict upon me
the wisdom to discern
shit from shinola

or lead me into
skirmish, scrum,
or uncompensated
wrangle

rapture me not
away from green
pastures
or darken the path
of Cosmic Bowling
Night

allow my slumber
to be a golden hum,
unbroken by the crackle
of angels wings
or The Eagles Greatest Hits.
-Thomas L. Vaultonburg 2006

But the Rockford squad was cool in defeat and many Caucasions were hoisted that evening. You might not like this poem, but that's just like your opinion, man.