Saturday, September 10, 2016

Rancho Cucamonga Passes Sales Tax Increase To Build Outsider Poetry Slam Stadium

Ecstatic over the Rancho Cucamonga team's victory in the 2016 Outsider Poetry Slam bowl, the Rancho Cucamonga city council passed a sales tax increase this week which will allow the city to build a new stadium for the team. Construction on the Kookamunga Dome will begin next week, and is expected to be finished three weeks from Thursday.

The citizens of Rancho Cucamonga, in a non-binding vote also voted for the tax increase by a 98% margin. Long time citizen Marge Kokenheimer echoed the sentiments of many Kookamonians by saying "We're just really behind the poetry team and think this stadium will ensure that they will remain here for a long, long time." 

The team feels the same way about their loyal fans. Team captain Loyd Bridges, who starred in Sea Hunt, says it would be hard to imagine the grind of a twelve bout poetry slam season without the encouragement of the fans and the support of his family. 

Because the Kookamungas are the defending Outsider Poetry Slam League of America champions, the Manwich Cup will be held in Rancho Cucamonga this season. 

Corporate sponsors have besieged the city council to secure naming rights for the stadium, with the top contenders being Chicken of the Sea tuna and Pillsbury Biscuits. 

It gets increasingly more difficult to write these goofy blogs about a non existent outsider poetry slam league. 

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